Those who read between the lines.

[Kaelri]

I've been meaning to write this for a long time.

First, you should understand my point of view.

I came late. After the first Restoration but before the spark of the next. Between.

Ignorant. Confused. Alone. When I came, this cavern was buried under two layers, not one. Before I could confront the epic mystery of the Fall, I had to piece together the remains of the Restoration. To this day, even after speaking with those who were part of it, I do not understand what hell broke loose and ended your prologue. I have read names, seen faces, touched places, heard stories, but the threads are all unraveled. When I came, D'ni suffered from the burden of two deaths.

I tried to ease both.

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"When all is taken from one, the only hope that remains is what is given by another. Through this giving, both are redeemed."

~ Regeltavok of Oorpah

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There is no soul I feel closer to than Yeesha's.

This does not mean that I trust her. On the contrary: it means that I do not trust her, for the same reason that she does not trust herself.

When I came alone to D'ni, she became my companion. But it took time for me to understand her intimations. We've all used the same words to describe her method: vague, cryptic, prophetic, even mad. I did not appreciate the meaning of her mission, at first, and even as the Journey ended, I barely understood what I had done, what part I had played. I sometimes wonder if I was not yet ready for the Journey. But she was patient, and unguarded. Everyone, I know, thought that through all her disembodied speeches, she was hiding something; but looking back, many of us see how much she was revealing - of D'ni, and of herself. What we saw as paradox and obfuscation were her doubts, her uncertainties, the duel between her serene faith in her mission and her terror of where it would take her, and what she would become.

But under the wings of both was her passion. Yeesha loves joy and loathes pride, and on that point, she has never lied to us, I promise you. To hear her speak of Teledahn's cages... to see her dance in the rain... it is impossible for me to doubt her sincerity. Every writer understands how we concentrate and clarify our thoughts and feelings through writing, and Yeesha is one of us. Through her speeches in that hidden cave, she articulated a spiritual imperative: the freeing of the Least, the unmaking of Pride, the joy of Returning, of Growing - that the DRC could not hope to match, and never will. Yeesha alone could tell us why we are truly here, and it does not matter that she spoke those words as much to learn as to teach.

But who we are with the pen is not who we are with the sword. And when I walked the Path of the Shell, I feared her, and for her. She nearly seemed to have forgotten her own words. Her voice was different. It was proud.

I wonder if she conceived of the Path of the Shell even before we had completed the first journey. Maybe she knew that the same words she used to open others' eyes would have to open hers in turn. She did not trust herself to lead us, and so she crafted her words to warn us against following her when she began to assimilate what she was purging. I like to think that I paid my debt when I walked the Path. When she had gone so far that she forgot where she had started, I helped her remember, just by walking that path, walking through Myst - touching the shelves on which the ashes of her brothers' potential were burned by their father as he vowed never again to neglect his burdens. I like to think that I tied the thread that had come unraveled.

Words fulfilled.

I do not trust Yeesha, but I believe in her. That will not make sense to those who would gather as soldiers, under her cloth as a banner, under her words as gospel, under her omnipotence as one joined with omniscience. I will not worship her, because I would become proud of my camaraderie, proud of my understanding, proud of my devotion. I would become Proud. She fears that. If we are Proud to be enemies of the Proud, then we are only another link in the chain. Instead of freeing the Least, we would replace them with all those who refused the journey. And to take freedom from the takers of freedom - in that moment, we would sacrifice the difference between us. And, smiling, we would join them on the chain. And the Least would weep in the time of the pride.

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"a kingdom is made of both life and belief
"it is only real with both..."

~ Phil Henderson

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We are all dependent on both Yeesha and the DRC. Every one of us. They are the defining marks of an explorer - Relto on the right hip, KI on the left hand. The DRC brings us to new worlds, then Yeesha shows us why we have come. The DRC rebuilds stone from dust; Yeesha shows us how the stone fell, falls, will fall again. Life and belief. We need them both.

And we need them both here. I am as disappointed as everyone else that both Yeesha and the DRC have kept their distance. I wonder if they are trying to avoid the conflict that seemed to plague them during the prologue; struggling to keep their hands clean. That's probably easier with both Watson and Zandi gone from the cavern. But even though they both rightfully trust in the explorers' ability to discover and create, even in their total absence, as Untìl proved, they have already forgotten how desperately people crave purpose.

I am stunned that the DRC didn't learn their lessons from the Cult of Yeesha. When Yeesha disappeared from the cavern, her disciples felt lost, and so they created a Cult to fill the void. All the symbols and structures of Yeesha's Journey, but they only knew the form of the path, nothing of where it led. And so Yeesha's wisdom was corrupted, perverted, diluted. Today, the Cult lies dormant, but they have not let go of the reigns; they are still capable of putting up resistance to those who are desperate for a return to the purity of her ideals.

And now, the DRC faces the same. They give, but they do not give enough; speak, but not enough; direct, but not enough. And in their place, Guilds to fill the void. Most are benign; some are not. The Guild of Guardians - an innocent facade, but I hear whispers. Whispers of zeal, of duty, of right. Whispers of Pride. Perhaps of the DRC's former self? Perhaps that is what they long for, just as Yeesha's Cult seeks a proud Grower to spoonfeed them the very poison she warned them against.

The Grower and the Council; both distant, both passive. Yeesha, however, can afford to be enigmatic; she can be sure that her own words will continue to be heard, without the need for neighborhoods and greeters and liaisons - the material bureaucracy of the DRC. The DRC cannot afford to be a myth.

But neither can afford to be passive; when the wind dies, the sails go limp.

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"I have seen the real treasures that are protected by the petty fences of their rules. I have found the precious gold buried deep beneath the weighty mountains of their laws."

~Yeesha

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I am an Unbound Heart.

Many have asked me how this is possible, if Yeesha's path is my compass rose. That is like asking a patriot how he saves his harshest words for his own government. It isn't complicated. "It is from within that most nations fall." A true patriot loves his country too much to let it destroy itself; the true patriot would rather see his country fail in the pursuit of singularity than to let it betray its principles in the name of survival and watch as it descends to join the hollow brotherhood of ordinary nations. So do I see the true followers of Yeesha. We are those who read between the lines. I hope that circumstances will not force me to clarify what I mean by that.

But that is only half the reason.

What path I choose for myself hardly matters - more important is the right to choose. And the right not to choose. The Unbound Hearts' Bevin is a sanctuary for that right.

What do you see? If you're someone like me, wandering the cavern every evening, rarely settling, but watching from the edges, you have surely seen that the people of this new D'ni are not here to fight a war, with each other or with themselves. They are not here to see that the Ages are living or dying, but simply that they are - and that they are beautiful. From all ages, all civilizations, they come to discover worlds with childlike wonder. How could we take that away from them?

They run, they jump, they kick cones, they kick beach balls, they wear funny hats, they hunt eggs, they find markers, they press buttons, they pull switches, they take pictures, they write poems, they watch sunsets, they watch stars. They come here to love life. Their hearts are unbound. We are building this new D'ni for them.

A storm is coming. Some of us are the thunder and some the lightning. But whatever side we choose, I will protect the unbound hearts. They are the light in which I rest. And no matter who remains standing when the storm's fury is spent, they will be the reemerging sun.

And then?

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"They will sing a song of thankfulness. They will sing a song, without regard to their circumstance. They will stand and take time to sing to the maker with hearts of joy. If only I could have such a heart."

~ Yeesha

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The ending can never truly be written.

[Vormaen]

Man, that was......wow....I...wow. That was moving.
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"One owes respect to the living. To the dead, one owes only the truth." -Voltaire


Member of the Unbound Hearts of D'ni, but nothing more than a man.



Ki #00190483

[Jemiri]

Beautiful...

[Tweek]

I would be interested in hearing more about this "Yeesha Cult", I've been in the Cavern for around 4 years or so now and have not seen such a thing.
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Beneath - Journal and archive of my time in D'ni.

[SIL_OH_WET]

Thank you for that. I am very impressed with the purity in this. It is overwhelming, in a good way, I will need to read it a few times more - each time I do, I learn to relate and see things from a different perspective. Once again, thank you!
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Let the Journey take me where it may...
KI # 35978

[ireenquench]

Thank you.
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Research. Discuss. Consider options. Act.

[DC]

Yes, thankyou for that Kaelri.

[earthwizard]

A poet in our midst... and a beautiful soul. May the Unbound Hearts awaken in us all...

earthwiz
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Earthwizard - KI # 01555592
D'ni Digest | Assembly of Guilds | Member: Guild of Cartographers

[pixilpink]

i read it three times, and i still can't get enough.

thank you so much for this.
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-Calliope KI#00193315
-Pixel KI# 00189718
-Pink KI#00177946
"We are not going around in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral." -Hermann Hesse (1877-1962)

[Kolian]

[BladeLakem]

[Kaelri]

You're welcome.

I'm quite humbled by the response to this. The message is being read, and with the same care and in the same spirit in which it was written. I am grateful.

[Vormaen]

Man, you are the smarterest person I have ever met!

You ability to weave your thoughts with such poetry, it's amazing. And by the responses I've seen so far, people really understand. I wish I had that ability. To really focus on the words. I think any age written by you will be marvelous, if you're that good with normal writing. I'm glad to have you as a member. It'll probably make up for my poorly executed passion and emotion. My ideas are many's ideas, but I have to say you truly embody them. Never lose that. I think more, including myself, should stive for that level of understanding.
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"One owes respect to the living. To the dead, one owes only the truth." -Voltaire


Member of the Unbound Hearts of D'ni, but nothing more than a man.



Ki #00190483

[Firesign]

i don't post to the drc forums a lot, as i don't care for the tone and, at least what perceive to be as, mean spiritedness that many of the threads here seem to break down into, but i just wanted to pop in and thank you for this. kaelri. very very well done, and reminded me of some things i really need to think about.

[Zander]

And just when I'm on the point of leaving the forums for good, I come across something like this.

Thank you, Kaelri. (I seem to be saying that a lot lately.) This is the truth of the heart, and it takes a special talent to articulate it so movingly.
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Zander
the Heretic